Tired, but a good tired at least.

Wow... what a crazy weekend. Friday was normal... i had to go in to make up an english quiz i had apparently never made up, which is actually good. It should bring my grade back up now, cuz i knew it was too low. Friday night, i ended up not doing anything really, except mowing the lawn until it rained on me and staying up until almost 2 to finish Jen's scrapbook for her graduation party the next day.Then Saturday came along. Just wow. First, i had to get up at like 7:30 in order to go father's day shopping on my way to a colorado meeting in bloomfield. The meeting was so funny though. We had this one activity where we were separated into groups of nine and had to move from one set of cones to another about 30 or so feet away. The catch? We had to move as a group, and could only have 5 points of contact with the ground at any one time (with, for example, one person's two feet being two points). After trying a few different things, such as a hopping piggyback chain (yes, it was as strange as it sounds), we came up with a workable, but very odd looking solution. Four group members (the 3 guys and 1 girl) lay down on their stomachs, and 4 people lay on top of them. The bottom people then proceeded to army crawl their way across the area, with the people on top trying not to fall off or touch the ground. As we started, we could hear all the leaders and the other groups laughing at how ridiculous we looked, and unfortunately were photographed multiple times. The ninth person in the group hopped along with us, actually holding kelly's feet up off the ground by the hem of her pants because she was too tall for the person she was lying on. However, as stupid and strange as we looked, and as many times as we had to stop and wait for everyone else to catch up, we accomplished the goal before everyone else. Go us. I'm really looking forward to this trip- so far, it seems our group has just clicked in a way i haven't seen since my england trip. Everyone is getting along, and we're all really excited. I almost don't want the meetings to end each time, just because they're so much fun. But i had to leave the meeting quickly, because i had to go to jen's graduation party. i succeeded in making her cry with her scrapbook, which was my goal. (I love you jenny!!!) its still really weird to think that she won't be in school next year- i don't know what i'll do without her to help me deal with life in general. But at least she's going to Quinnipiac, so she'll be close. And before i get all sappy, i should move on. From her party, we went to the dave matthews concert, which was both fun and interesting.~*~*~Things I Have Learned From The Dave Matthews Band Concert~*~*~-Rum and Pepsi is a DISGUSTING drink.-Gatorade and wild berry vodka not only somehow ends up having a coconut overtone to it, but is also much better when you start drinking it than when you finish it (it somehow gets worse as you go along- i guess the taste is easy to get sick of)-A dirty screwdriver, as weird as both the name and recipe sound, actually tastes good-drunk girls will try to kiss you, yes, even if you are their sex and they are normally straight... hide, quickly, because they may also try to show you their shamrock tattoo.... which happens to be on their ass-keep a close eye on your friends if they are normally easy and are now drunk too... not only are they funny, but they might also need you to fend off a few more aggressive "suitors"-cigar smoke does occasionally smell better than cigarette smoke, but not for long-dave matthews is very good in concert-the violinist, Boyd Tinsley, is the coolest guy in the band-the drummer must have every freaking drum ever invented.... i have no idea how he even ever uses all of those-old dave music is definitely still better than new dave music-drunk people are entertaining as hellSo yeah, that was fun. Unfortunately, i had to get up early this morning to go to church (definitely not fun... i was sooo tired), but then we gave dad his fathers day presents and went to see a Rock Cats game with my grandfather (which they won). Over all, its been a good weekend. :-D Now i'm just really tired.

Ju...

Just because I'm bored and don't want to work on any of my many projects, i'm going to do this thing shannon had.Have you ever...( ) been in love( ) been dumped (i've always been the one to break up with the other person...)( ) been fired(x) been in a fist fight (only with my brothers)(x) had feelings for someone who didn't have them back(x) lied to a friend( ) seen someone die(x) had a summer crush(x) been to Canada(x) been to Mexico(x) been on a plane( ) used a fake name( ) pretended to be foreign(x) tripped someone on purpose(x) Slept all night in a bed with a person of the opposite sex(x) laughed at another’s misfortune (it wasn't a serious misfortune, that person laughed too)( ) purposely set a part of yourself on fire( ) eaten Sushi( ) been snowboarding( ) met someone you met online(x) felt used( ) been moshing at a concert( ) been to a concert of NYSNC, Backstreet Boys, or Britney Spears( ) been in an abusive relationship (emotionally abusive, and trust me, that counts)(x) taken painkillers(x) had a boyfriend/girlfriend(x) love/like someone right now(x) laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by(x) made a snow angel( ) had a tea party with your toys(x) flown a kite(x) built a sand castle(x) smashed someone's elses sand castle(x) gone puddle jumping(x) played dress up(x) jumped into a pile of leaves(x) gone sledding(x) cheated while playing a game(x) been lonely( ) fallen asleep at work/school(x) watched the sun set( ) felt an earthquake (it was there, i just didn't feel it. go me and my heavy sleeping)(x) touched a snake(x) cried to get your way(x) been tickled( ) been robbed( ) robbed someone(x) been misunderstood(x) pet a reindeer/goat( ) fed a giraffe(x) won a contest( ) had detention( ) been in a car accident(x) had/have braces( ) eaten a whole pint of ice cream in one night (several times...)(x) had deja vu(x) danced in the moonlight(x) hated the way you look( ) witnessed a crime( ) done something you are deeply ashamed of(x) questioned your heart( ) been obsessed with post-it notes(x) squished barefoot through the mud(x) been lost(x) been to the opposite side of the country(x) swam in the ocean(x) felt like dying(x) told on someone to get out of trouble (my brother, he doesn't count lol)( ) asked someone out on a dare( ) stood someone up(x) called someone "fat" and/or "ugly" to their face (never seriously though)(x) cried yourself to sleep(x) played cops and robbers(x) recently colored with crayons(x) sung karaoke(x) paid for a meal with only coins (does bread count?)(x) done something you told yourself you wouldn't(x) made prank phone calls (x) laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose (orange juice is painful)(x) caught a snowflake on your tongue(x) kissed in the rain(x) written a letter to Santa Claus( ) been kissed under a mistletoe( ) watched the sun set with someone you care about( ) ran across the beach at night with someone you liked(x) blown bubbles(x) made a bonfire on the beach( ) eaten glue( ) sniffed glue( ) crashed a party( ) have traveled more than 5 days with a car full of people(x) gone roller-skating/blading(x) had a wish come true(x) worn pearls( ) jumped off a bridge( ) jumped off a cliff into water(x) ate dog/cat food (it tasted surprisingly good too...)( ) told a complete stranger you loved them(x) gotten slapped(x) sang in the shower(x) had a little black dress(x) had a dream that you married someone( ) glued your hand to something( ) got your tongue stuck to a pole( ) kissed a fish( ) been a cheerleader(x) sat on a roof top(x) screamed at the top of your lungs( ) done a one-handed cartwheel (ha, i can't even do real cartwheels well)( ) talked on the phone for more than 6 hours(x) stayed up all night( ) didn’t take a shower for a week( ) picked and ate an apple right off the tree(x) climbed a tree(x) had a tree house(x) are scared to watch scary movies alone(x) believe in ghosts( ) have more then 30 pairs of shoes(x) worn a really ugly outfit to school (i had weird clothes when i was little...)(x) played chicken fight( ) been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on(x) been told you're hot by a complete stranger(x) broken a bone(x) been easily amused(x) peed in a pool (When I was really little, i think i did)(x) pushed someone into a pool(x) held someone's head underwater( ) caught a fish then ate it(x) caught a butterfly(x) laughed so hard you cried(x) cried so hard you laughed( ) cheated on a test(x) forgotten someone's name( ) French braided someone’s hair( ) been kicked out of your house

Have you ev...

Have you ever gotten the feeling that nothing you do has a point and nothing you try for will ever work out the way you want it to? The feeling that you're really just not that important in the grand scheme of things and that you not being here really wouldn't matter? I really hate that. But what can you do about it?

Ugh

Well thank you dad, for ruining the good mood. I leave off working on my paper to mow the lawn for you, the first time you ask, might i add, and yet somehow end up in trouble again. "I don't know how you do it Amanda, but somehow you always get out of doing any work". Gee sorry dad, i'll have to make sure next time that i actually do work. After all, the mowing belt breaking was definitely my fault, don't you think? Especially since i also somehow miraculously caused the only other belt we had here to be the wrong size, just because i'm sooo damn lazy i wanted to get out of mowing the lawn that badly. I'm sorry i place more importance on my schoolwork than i do on housework. I'm sorry you seem to think fixing my car and mowing the lawn is all i'm good for on weekends. I'm sorry i have a life. I'm sorry i have activities like track and band that take time away from me "working". What else do you want from me, dad? What more can i do to make you happy? Yes, you do always congratulate me when i do something special, when i get rewarded for my accomplishments. But sometimes, dad, it would be nice to hear it for no reason, to know that you're proud of me just for being who i am and not for what i do. No i'm not perfect. I never will be, no matter how much i try for you. Sorry.

The Good Mood is Still Here...

So I am still happy, at least for the large majority of the time. An occasional headache or something will bring me down a bit, but never too much. Wednesday we had NHS inductions, so that was cool. I feel like i joined a cult, but hey, what's so bad about that? It's not like we had a sacrificial lamb or anything, though i wouldn't have been surprised at all, right dan? Thursday and friday were the dress rehearsal and recital for dance. I can't believe another year is over already, and that next year will be my last. It will be so weird to enter the stage in my prom dress for the finale, having spent so many years looking up to those girls. Hopefully I will have more than one dance next year, so all of you can come watch me and have it be worthwhile for once. But for now, its time to go.... I'm a little tired, what with the first Memorial Day parade of the year this morning in Burlington and then an afternoon spent at Matt's graduation party with him and his slightly crazy but very entertaining friends. I don't know... I'm happy with how things are turning out. I really hope we can still stay friends even though prom and graduation, the two things we almost had to stay friends for, are over. I really hate losing people.

I love my life

God, I love days like today. The kind of day where everything goes right, making you feel like, just for once, your life is perfect. First, there was the 2330 on the SATs... 800 reading, 800 writing, and 730 math. That alone would have made my day. Then i find out that this really raises my chances of getting a Timken (the company my dad works for) scholarship, with pays 4 years tuition for almost any school, and my mom thinks it pays room and board as well. How much would that rock? and then i went to track practice, even though i'm done for the year, just because i have nothing better to do and i'd rather not sit at home and turn fat and lazy. So my workout went really well, surprisingly, as i haven't weight lifted in weeks/months or something like that. So as of now.... I LOVE MY LIFE. lets see how long this can last.

So ...

So I broke up with Matt last week. I had been hoping to wait until after his prom and graduation, so i wouldn't ruin them or anything, but he noticed something was wrong and asked about it. What was i supposed to do? I didn't want to lie and tell him everything was fine, because, obviously, he could tell it wasn't. So i told him the truth, that prom and his graduation and stuff was really making me realize that he wasn't going to be here in the fall and that that really bothered me. Plus, I think i'm going to be relatively busy this summer, so i highly doubt i would have gotten to spend as much time with him as he wanted me to do. overall, i think this was probably the best option, as long as we can stay friends. I think its possible to do. At least i hope so. As of now, i think it might be, because although matt was really upset at first, he's gotten better. And we managed to have fun at his prom last night, even though we were only there as friends. At least he seemed to be having fun, and i know i was. His friends were all really nice, so that helped too. Its just too bad i was so tired that i didn't go to their after prom party. The kids' parents rented out the YMCA in Plainville for them to have a party in until four in the morning. Crazy prep school kids. It would have been fun to go to, but i was exhausted. Friday was our united way day of caring, so i spent the day moving picnic tables as a community service project at camp mattatuck. We had to stack the tables on a trailer, follow the trailer up a hill, and then move the tables into the back of an 18-wheeler type trailer. By the end of the day, my arms hurt A LOT. And i smacked myself in the knees and hips with planks a couple of times. That was fun. I still have a bruise. But after that, we went back to school and i got to play football during track practice. Then the next day, i had to be at school at 7:30 so we could drive out to housatonic for the berkshire league track championships. That was fun too. I didn't throw so well, but jen and kelly did, jen in discus and kelly in javelin. And we got to hang out with fun track people too. :-) Hopefully, though, i'll do better next year. I know i really need to work out a lot over the summer and fall, when i have no sports, so that i'm already in good shape going into the indoor season. So my new plan is to actually work out and run and stuff over the summer. I might need help keeping my resolve up though... so who's willing to join me? please?

:-)

Yay for being extremely smiley. I love being completely happy for no apparent reason. Although my face is starting to hurt... I think I'm smiling too much. oh well, i can deal. Anyone who was in the play this weekend... awesome job. I was definitely impressed. You guys all did an amazing job. <3 <3 <3 (And if anyone knows who the sparkly shirt Pat... sorry, Conrad, was wearing belongs to, can you steal it for me? I want the sparkles!!) Samantha Benson, I'm very proud of myself for making you crack and laugh while on stage. Go me!! Hmm.... almost time for me to go, so i can't go through the rest of the people who made my week/weekend fun, but you know who you are. *muah*Makani kaikaina: i <3 geeksgeekmafia8083: damn right you dowow, what a doofy looking dragon this mood thing is. oh well.

Yay for my internet being back!!

So props to my lovely geeky brother Jason, who somehow managed to FINALLY get our internet connection back up. Thanks Jay!! And, to make things even better, AP testing is over!! YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :-D I was going insane. I might have failed physics, but i think i did pretty well on the others, and am almost completely sure i at least got a five on calc, if nothing else. And SATs were easy. Just long. very very long. But the kid sitting next to me was from litchfield, so i asked him if he was on track. (he looked familiar.) His response : "yeah, i am. hey, aren't you one of the girls that was talking to the throwers?" Always nice to know I'm noticeable, I guess. Still a little strange though, especially given some of my other track experiences this year. Always fun, but... surprising. Very surprising. Hopefully, I will finally make it into Berks at our last meet on Tuesday. I know i can do it... at practice yesterday and today i made it past the qualifying distance in shotput at the very least, 4 times. And emily and i got to help a har-bur kid learn to throw better! He improved but almost a foot or more after we taught him to slide right and to transfer his weight. Tomorrow, hopefully, we'll get to help out more, as the kids have practice instead of a meet. I hope we can help. They throw really well considering they use their legs not at all. One of the Avon kids today was HUGE... taller than me and Emily by at least 3 or 4 inches. Em gave me a kind of startled look when i asked the kid if he was on steriods. Luckily, he just laughed. He was definitely a beast for a middle schooler though.So I think thats good for the good stuff that happened this week... for the bad, there was the internet crashing, my mom deciding i'm getting fat, stuff like that. Luckily, i feel much better today. I got a letter from Harvard telling me they were sending me more information and an application. I feel smart, which helps to make up for the fact that i'm apparently getting fat!! oh well, i know i'm never going to be stick-thin. At least we're running at track now, so that should help.I still wish it were summer though. School is pretty much pointless for me now as only Spanish has to be taught now. The others, we're watching movies, learning supplemental yopics and doing projects. And if it were summer, i'd be swimming, working (hopefully) and going to Colorado. It'll be a party! Even if i have to throw college searches in the middle of it all.